Friday, January 4, 2008

...But I Don't Do Resolutions

My horoscope today said "Now is the time to make those resolutions you've been contemplating." I will say, there are a few changes I've been thinking I may want to make...but resolutions? I really don't do resolutions. It took me a long time to figure out "resolution" is another word for "slow failure." Sure, I've made years worth of resolutions, just like the next gal. And, I've lost sight of these resolutions long before the coming of Spring. There was one year that I did better than the rest. My resolution that year? To put myself first...or at least to think of myself more. I must say, this was a true challenge. Any mother can tell you that. We spend most, if not all, of our time putting everyone (and their needs) ahead of ourselves. It is natural but unhealthy. So this particular year, I became more selfish with myself and my time. I am still a damn good mother. I volunteer. I grocery shop. I feed my family well. I keep all of the clothes clean. But, I do not worry so much about how clean my house is. I do not hesitate to ask my husband for help. I do not try to do it all. I do look at myself in the mirror and find positives. I look at my family and my friends and see the reasons I love each of them. I review my life and realize how lucky I am.

But, I said there were some changes I'd like to make. Those are simple. I'd like to tend more to my friendships. Let those I love know it more often. I'd like to laugh out loud more and smile more at strangers. I'd like to keep singing at traffic lights, out loud for all it's worth. I want to make the joy in my life show to everyone I see. But these are all just changes, not resolutions. Because, I don't do resolutions.

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